Wish

My mom was not one to throw things away, whether it was papers, clothing, toys, etc; everything had a memory, everything needed to be kept for a ‘reason’. Many of those reasons we don’t know now. I wish she was here so I could ask her why. On one hand I am so glad there are things she chose to keep, like many of our baby clothes, toys and furniture; on the other hand it’s making cleaning more difficult. We have bins and bins full of things for our kids some day.

I wish she was still here so I could ask her all the things I never got a chance to. I wish she was here so she could teach me more things. I wish I would’ve learned to sow; there are clothes she was supposed to fix but never got a free moment to. Many times in the last few months I’ve thought of something I need to ask her; something about laundry, something about meds, something about life, but I haven't been able to, I'll never be able to again. We'll never be able to hear her voice or her laugh again. She'll never be all able to laugh at me for something silly that I said. I'll never hear her laugh at me for buying a new purse or shoes.

I wish she was still here.

I wish I could give her a hug.

I wish I could get a hug from her.

I wish we could watch our tv shows together.

I wish we could go shopping together.

I wish we could have lunch together.

I wish she was still here.

I found my mom's 1989 day planner (the year of changes), my first Nike shoes, my first bunny, my favorite toys, my baby clothes, my baby blankets, my yellow polka dot bikini (lol), my awards from school and gymnastics, pictures, art work, and much much more. :)